>I was intrigued by this article stating that Western parenting has become lazy and permissive. I have to agree with the author on some points. (Let me emphasize SOME points as I disagree with many things in this theory of parenting)
We have let our children believe that they are incapable of doing things by allowing them to give up. Winston Churchill stated, “But for everyone, surely, what we have gone through in this period — I am addressing myself to the School — surely from this period of ten months, this is the lesson: Never give in. Never give in. Never, never, never, never — in nothing, great or small, large or petty — never give in, except to convictions of honour and good sense. Never yield to force. Never yield to the apparently overwhelming might of the enemy.” I don’t think we should apply this to only our dreams and aspirations but also to those little problems that come along like a difficult math problem or a skill that seems unattainable. We should not only think of this in terms of defeating an army of men but a defeatist attitude in ourselves that may cause us to believe that we don’t have the strength, inherent smarts, or natural ability to do something. Not everyone is born with the natural “gift” of reading comprehension. But everyone is able to put in time, energy and WORK that makes us a better reader and understanding of what we read.
The other thing that was positive that I gleaned from this article was how these Chinese mother’s stay with their children to deal with these issues. Although I don’t in any way agree with berating your child as a means of coercion, I was quite impressed that instead of stating that a child has to do something and then walking away, they stay right next to the kid, investing their own time and energy in the learning process. This is a great tip we can take away. Don’t sit your kid down in front of their math homework and then go watch TV while they wonder what they are doing. Sit there and watch them, help them and encourage them that they are perfectly capable of handling the lesson. Encourage them over and over to read the instructions and never give them the answer but allow them to find it for themselves allowing them to know that they are able to do this with the right amount of WORK! Yes, work. I said it…
These two positive attributes of “Eastern Parenting” will impart two valuable things to my child: A sense that they can do anything by putting in enough work, and that I am always going to be there to encourage, support and be that sense of stability no matter what. I want to push my kids to be the best because they are capable.
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