Losing It

I have settled into motherhood a little. It’s been a hard year but Cate is about to be a year old. Nursing is over with and more and more I’m focusing on getting ME healthy again. I was doing what I needed to do to keep her alive and that left little time for me. I’m not one of those people who has twins and goes back to being a size 4  two weeks later. You people make me green with envy.

Part of my problem has been my obsession with cheese, butter and generally all things dairy. Therefore I went vegan as I have stated.

The other part is exercise which is difficult in the in-climate weather and the fact that I have kids hanging on my legs making p90x more difficult that it already is. When we still lived in NC it was way easier because I could fall out my front door into a coolish breeze and run in the dark around the track before anyone was up to see my flab flopping as I attempted a jog. Those days are over. I am forced to brave the cold, snow, and ice with BOB or attempt to get in as much exercise video as I can in my tiny living room. Doing karate kicks around my 3 year old’s head is quite challenging. I tried to do dance videos with her but she is worse at exercising than I am, if that’s possible. Any kind of gym membership/child care is out of the question for financial reasons (unless you all want to invite everyone to this blog and start helping me pay to keep a journal). Have you ever seen that commercial where the guy is in the gym weighing himself as he gets ready to work out? He takes one lap around the gym and weighs himself again. HA! That’s totally me. I’m like, “OK, I got in 26 minutes of p90x. That should count for something.” And then I’m on the scale trying to find out if it did. My kids are starting to think I’m obsessed with the scale. I don’t know if I’m ever going to get back to how I was in college. For now, I will continue to diet/exercise when I can and hope that God takes the rest (of my fat, I mean) and hope that I don’t lose it in the process.


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