Sabbath is not for the faint of heart!

Andy got a new job (Yay) at the hospital in town (WOO HOO!) every weekend (boo…).

Have you seen those ladies in church who have two kids and no husband to be seen and you think, “Poor woman. She’s either a single mom (most of us assume that) or her husband is the pastor?” Then you see the pastor and you know they aren’t married and you feel sorry for her because she’s juggling two, three, four (lord help us, maybe more) kids. That’s me now. I’m a single church mom.

If you have just started reading this blog you have to know that Andy is my saint husband who changes diapers and insists that I take a nap or bath all alone almost every time he comes home. He’s the best man ever and besides all that, he’s totally hot! (I know, right?)

But for all intents and  purposes, I’m now single… on Sabbath. That means that I have to get up, wrestle the kids into church clothes, get them fed… or not, all while making sure I have on pants before I get in the car and get us over to the church. We blow into Sabbath School either late or early – never right on time, and I chase my kiddos around the Cradle Roll room for an hour or so before wearily heading up to church. Bless their hearts, the people of the church try and help me but I’m still so new that people are still asking my name every week. I’m basically on my own.

Today, the girls woke up almost 3 hours early. 5 am. That’s not even right! It’s CRIMINAL! And on a Sabbath morning no less. So after killing time (drinking coffee), I got them ready. Cate was yeowling like a cat for an hour before I finally just put her in her car seat, gave her a bottle and drove us to the church early just so she would go to sleep! She nodded off in 2 seconds. Abby was starting to get that red eyed sleepy look and I didn’t think we’d make it though church but as Sabbath School was ending I thought maybe she’d make it at least to Childrens’ Story and then we could walk back and I wouldn’t have to drag her kicking and screaming down the aisle. So I sat down half way up the church. Her eyes looked more and more droopy.

Finally, song service was over and they were about to take up the offering. Abby’s little friend Joshua got some money from his dad for the offering. Abby comes running down the pew, “Mommy,” she calls TO THE ENTIRE CONGREGATION, “I want some money!”

Ok, Mommy’s an idiot. She doesn’t have any money. When I tell her this, she breaks down… loudly. “But I want some money!” she cries. A ripple of giggling goes through the congregation. Thank goodness for a group with a sense of humor and a high tolerance for kids. Her eyes are welling, face reddening, splotches of tears are starting to splash onto her dress.

What is a mother to do? There is no Daddy with endless cash in his pockets. I don’t even have a carousel token (it’s a Missoula thing)! Some kind soul from two rows behind gives in to her wailing (Cate is also yeowling again because I didn’t bring MORE bottle and she wants to turn around in the pew and flirt with the toddler behind us but Mommy is occupado with Abby and that’s just not acceptable), takes pity on us and gives Abby a dollar. The offering plate has passed. Joshua has put his money in and now has nothing. His dad is forced to go into the never-ending stash and get out yet another dollar so his kid doesn’t act like my kid.

I get everything packed up and into the diaper bag, hang the strap over the inside edge of the pew so that I can sweep it up as I walk out from Childrens’ Story. Abby walks down the aisle with her dollar, collects Childrens’ offering money and proceeds to hoard it instead of putting it in the plate.

I convince her that everyone else is doing it so why don’t you follow suit and put your money in the little church? She complies with a frown on her face.

I realize that I caused this. We have been reading about saving your money and putting it in your piggy bank so you can buy things when you want to. She is only trying to do what we have been learning about. Man, talk about turning it around on your mother! We are going to have to learn about where money comes from next…

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