The Unwilling SAHM

Since becoming a stay-at-home-mom, I have realized something. I don’t want to be a stay at home mom. I know. I know. You want to leave your children every day? The simple answer is, yes.

I hate being at home all day. It’s hard for me to force myself into a good homeschooling type routine. How many people are really self-motivated enough to run a truly effective home business? Some are really good at it. Some are really not. I’m in that second class. Not so much.

I really loved the work world. I liked getting out of my house and doing something.

Not that I don’t love my kids. I do. I just treat them better when I’ve missed them a bit during the day.

There are moms who will completely disagree with me. Their whole world is being a mommy and I LOVE THAT! I’m amazed with these women and how much energy they have because in my opinion, it takes more energy to do this than to be a mom that works and comes home. Here’s why. You NEVER get a break. Women who stay at home (and do really well at it) are on from 5:30 am to the next 5:30 am. There is never time away from those kids. They cook, clean and still manage to parent. Their job description is ever changing with potty training, shoe tying, sickness and learning to read.

So why, if I am of this opinion, do I stay at home? Because I’m a control freak. Because I want my kids to learn certain things and I’m never sure what a child care provider would be teaching them. Because I”m totally picky about what they eat, what they watch, what they do, how they are disciplined and that leaves no room for a day care to err. AND I change my mind about it all the time.

The only way I would be comfortable with child care is if I hired a nanny that could come in and would take my calls every time I decided to change strategies and would go with me on it. That is impossible. I couldn’t find someone that flexible and I couldn’t afford them if I did so… I stay home because I’m neurotic.

I have decided that I have to just become a more self motivated person and treat being a SAHM like a job… because it is.

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