I recently saw a preview for the Jessica Parker movie, I Don’t Know How She Does It. She mentions that she doesn’t sleep. Instead she lays awake and does The List. I know that feeling.
Now that I have two kids and Abby is in gymnastics and swimming and I’m volunteering and getting involved in the church and playing in the bell choir, The List becomes increasingly more laden with EVERYTHING. I admit it, I have an iphone and without it, I would miss every dentist appointment and my kids would not be vaccinated. Suddenly I find myself overscheduled and CRAZY. With the heavy schedule, I find myself going back to the insomniac I was when I was pregnant, but for entirely different reasons.
Rolling around in my head are questions like, “Did I schedule that baby shower and that rehersal at the same time? Should I let Abby skip gymnastics to go to the doctor just to have him tell her she’s fine and that’ll be $90 please? Did I leave that laundry in the washer for more than a few hours, because I haven’t been home in like 24.”
I just get so busy and all the while my kids are SCREAMING for every need at the top of their lungs and when I tell them to just wait a minute, Mommy’s on the potty! they break into tears.
I know that I need to say no, but then there are weeks when there is NOTHING and I am totally in recovery and I lay on the couch just to catch up on much needed down time and think, what am I doing, nothing?
Both ways, busy or couch potato, I feel guilty. I need to find a happy medium.